I began using drugs in m1ddle school, but halfway through hi..

I began using drugs in m1ddle school, but halfway through high school was when I began being under the influence of something at all times. Weed turned into alcohol, alcohol turned into benzos and opiate pills, and soon I was shooting heroin and smoking crack several times a day. I was the dirty, skinny, pathetic looking junkie holding a sign that said "anything helps, thank you!" near freeway entrances. I was self medicating instead of taking the meds and therapy that would have much better helped my mentally ill brain. I didn't like living, I wanted to die, but after botched s*icide attempts, an OD, and living through all kinds of terrible abuse didn't kill me, I figured I needed drugs to numb every moment of my existence. My body went through so much withdrawal, several bad fevers, overdoses, malnourishment, self harm, abuse from others... and yet, I continued to exist. I was still alive, but not living. Finally, I completely changed my life. I dropped every friend I had, broke up with my partner, began doing things like bathing and eating regularly, and I started feeling like a human being again. Soon, I realized I needed to do a full detox. I went cold turkey from shooting black tar several times a day, smoking crack several times a day, eating any pills that entered my orbit, and taking a daily dose of 110mg of methadone from the local clinic. The withdrawal was the worst pain I'd ever experienced... and that said a lot. I didn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was constantly sweating, freezing, squirming, and in absolute discomfort. I thought, "well, it looks like I'm finally going to die. This is it." But now... I am officially 5yrs sober :) after a few weeks of constant agony, I was able to start getting a few hours of sleep, keeping some food in my system, and I began to heal. I still have drug caused nerve damage, brain damage, and lung damage that are probably permanent. I have so few veins left in my arms that when I'm getting bloodwork nowadays, they need to use an ultrasound to prove my arms. I have an extreme heat intolerance, tingling and swelling in my hands, headaches, arm spasms, trouble taking deep breaths, blah blah.. even my eyes have been damaged! There is so much that using needles to inject hard drugs into your system that is never discussed in DARE. There is so much damage to your brain that affects you in negative ways every single day that is caused by smoking certain substances that is never brought up in after school specials. They always say "oh you'll die if you do drugs!" but death isn't the worst thing that can happen, is it? Suffering is much worse. I've had friends who died due to their drug use and I often wonder what made it so that I'm alive and they're not. Please, PLEASE do not enforce the stigmas that come with addiction. Addicts, homeless folks, and those who are mentally ill are all human and all suffering in ways you cannot understand. Choose compassion and empathy over disgust and hate. Would you look at me now and guess that 5yrs ago I was a dying, 80lb, unbathed, abused, junkie crackhead? Love and compassion from others was a very big chunk of what helped me get the strength that brought me where I am today... the rest was will (but at the moment, I can't tell you where exactly such will came from. I'm still mentally ill and still struggling daily to figure out how to be "happy" - whatever that may be.) aren't you proud of me? send a tip to say so! 💚 Is this my sexiest post? Absolutely not, but perhaps it can serve as a reminder to you that there is a real person behind the daily nudity. A real person who has bills to pay, PTSD that's struggled with every day, and a need to stay strong and avoid relapse! I hope you are well! Sending a big hug and big kiss to anyone who likes this post! 💋