I am in a very bad mental state. I have been playing phone t..

I am in a very bad mental state. I have been playing phone tag with psychiatric services and have finally gotten the number for the doctor I need to see... and, of course, she won't be back until tomorrow. My brain is beyond overwhelmed. I've been sobbing. Scared. Angry. Frustrated. I have been feeling negativity at all times. I cannot remember the last time I had fun. I'm in physical pain to the point where I'm in pain when dreaming. I feel plagued. I feel like there is no escape from it. I feel totally and completely broken, as if my body and mind are both failing me. This means change MUST happen. I CANNOT survive very long in this state. I know I am always asking for tips, tributes, "spoil me!", "send $1 for how many times you'd spank!", "fund my new tattoo!" blah blah blah and that all seems so foolish now. You are supportive and I do not like sounding like a pathetic beggar. I was homeless before, holding a sign that said "anything helps", and I am not trying to act that way now, or ever again. I am now, very seriously, asking for help. If you enjoy my content, please consider tipping through here or via c*shapp ($fragilegg) or p*ypal (bobbyhillbear@gmail.com). I am not mentally able to do custom work, and as thankful as I am for all of your support, the amount I make from subscriptions ($11, minus 20% from onlyfans cut) will not be enough to pay my bills. If you do send a tip now, I will at least be able to save your username and find a proper way to thank you after getting help from my doctor and feeling some sort of sanity. I'm not sure what else I could do, but if you have a suggestion I am open to hearing it. I am still getting it together enough to make sure you get at least one post per day of my usual uncensored, delicious content. If there are any kinks or things you would like to see in the content I post, you can always tell me and I can add I into whatever set I'll be doing next. I hope this is not too repulsive. Self loathing has me terrified to say all of this, but I do not see another way to correctly function any longer. If it was up to me, I do not know if I would still exist... it is not a happy thought, especially when spinning around my head on a daily basis. Anyone who has messaged me and not heard back yet: I will get back to you! I am not ignoring anyone! But it is extremely hard to communicate on a personal level right now... I've been trying to, at least, show some more of my whimsical self in my photos, and I hope it comes off as such. Thank you. If you have any questions, I will try to answer them. Thank you. Thank you. 💗 You all mean so much to me. To have cared enough to subscribe to see my nudity is just... wow. 💕 I hope I have brought you much pleasure, and that I can continue to do so every day. Here are a few photos taken just a bit ago. The best I could do with both parents home and the lighting not at it's best. ✨